Artists, writers, musicians, and those who set out on their own paths and work for themselves, all understand on some level, the nature of standing in our own truth and power. Nothing much happens if we don’t show up. Life goes on and since most of us aren’t holding life in the palms of our hands, no one is in jeopardy much as a result of anything we do or don’t do. That’s not really the point of life though, is it?
What drives us to do what we do? That all depends. Once we choose the life that is self-directed though, we find that our worst enemy, the one who blocks our progress or provides the harshest criticism, dwells within us. Many of us have experienced how we can get in our own way, whether we work for ourselves or not. What I’ve discovered is that I am more aware of how I get in the way now than I was in the past. While outside circumstances can cause disruptions, much of the time it’s pretty easy to see when I am the one clogging up the works. Other people and I may disagree, but that is a matter of identifying what different perspectives and goals we have, and then deciding which path we’re willing to take and what we are needing to leave behind.
Yesterday I was having a conversation with another person who works for herself. She also participates in all kinds of activities, takes care of young grandchildren, and tries to maintain her own social life and health. When I asked how she was doing, her response and tired eyes told me she was having trouble maintaining that necessary balance. And balance…well it’s always in motion, teetering on that fulcrum of dynamic energy that propels us constantly. No wonder we never seem to find that balance; it’s not static.
What makes me think of power and truth this morning? It’s time for me to sit down to write, and to get back to work on the revision of a book I’m writing. I’m taking my 10 minutes on Tell Me More to warm up and get a little more centered than I’m actually feeling today. The energy of the Full Moon in Capricorn and all the aspects that go with that, have me rising and falling like the tides. The powerful energy alive and generating within me and all around, is potent and strong. All kinds of images, symbols, openings, and signs are starting to create cracks in the surface of my consciousness.
Imagine if you will, little critters and creatures, ideas and imaginative thought, pulling themselves up through the cracks from the dark into the light. Imagine the thoughts and images then taking wing and flitting, flying, ad soaring all over, releasing energy, spreading fairy dust, and entering into the creative flow of whoever and whatever they find. There is magic afoot….energy ready to flow, flit, and scatter in the winds. Time to create, to consider, and to cook up something special on which to feast.
There is a stillness right now, the time between the tides. The waters have receded and the calm of no motion creates room for us to simply be before it’s time to get up and go. Before it’s time to take the next step. Before it’s time to respond to what is waiting for us. During these in between times, it is good to assess a bit. Not too much, because that can cause a lot of unnecessary distraction. We tend to want to fill in empty space as soon as we notice it. But now is the time to let there be some space, some time, some room. Now is the time to breathe more deeply, move more slowly, and stop pushing.
Distractions arise when there is stillness. The reason is because, as the saying goes, “nature abhors a vacuum”. If nature didn’t, the Irish among us certainly do. Hate to leave space unfilled. Rush to fill in room left open or time left out. Yet what we can benefit more from is just what we seem so afraid to face…letting there be spaces in our time. Spaces in our time together. Spaces in the time we spend on our own. Spaces between one movement and another, and simply, space for the sake of having space.
Over a month-long period, a good friend helped me recently, clear out space in my home. We first tackled a big walk-n closet that I had tried repeatedly to get organized. Her ability to see and create room, resulted in the perfect arrangement…one that I have been able to maintain and keep neat. She then helped me reorganize some of the space I had, and one of the things she did was get everything off the floor and out of the corners…creating more space. It wasn’t that we removed everything, we simply moved whatever was on the floor or in a corner, out. It found another place, it found more space. And in the end, left me with more space and room.
Why does this matter? On a physical level, creating space opens up all levels of consciousness. It relieves the mind of built up piles that never get attended to. It releases energy stored ins ‘stuff’ that has no purpose or place in your life. Now I’m ready for another major step; letting go again. This time the letting go is of whatever ties me down and keeps me from going deeper into the creative and enlivening work I’m doing. I believe it will include sorting through some of the priorities that have held my attention and kept energy tied up in the past.
I definitely know it includes letting whatever emotional energy comes up to be expressed so it can be released. That’s already happening, as it probably always does, only now I’m paying closer attention. Those synchronicities are beginning to become more frequent. I had lunch with a good friend, and she did a reading for me yesterday. I do a lot of this for other people, and was happy to find someone whose level of skill and intuitive knowledge I trust.
Something is aflame in my own life right now. There is a burning off of energy and karmic ties going on, and an earthy transformation taking place. I’m feeling more grounded in my earthly body and more freed in my spiritual and emotional being. In-powered, powered within, and guided, guarded, and infused with positive, clearing, energy and grace. I feel surrounded by the heavenly golden angels (only mine look more like a weathered Mary Poppins I think), and know that angels, God’s voice to we humans, is whispering and sometimes shouting, “This way….not that!” That, girl, not this.” “Keep going” or “Slow down”….feeling like those intuitive hits are more and more right on target.
And there are loads of things I don’t yet know nor do I need to know. What I do know is that I have both heavenly and earthy angels all around me….some right here in this group. Those whose words and experiences speak to my heart or mirror my experience at just the right moment…well it’s quite delightful to trust myself to seek, knowing I’ll find. Knock, knowing the doors will open, and to trust, knowing there are no misguided steps on the path I’m on. I think of an essay a friend of mine, Kelly, recently wrote. He described a hike he took up a rocky, steep trail. There were points where he probably felt like turning back. He kept on going and found the vistas that he’d never found had he stayed home. He trusted that he’d be safe and have the strength to get home. He trusted that the path would come out somewhere ahead even if he couldn’t see it. That walk with him through his writing, up over the hill and down into the valley, well it inspires me still.
My path is not up a hill or over some rocky path, but it’s the one I’m meant to be on. And it includes this wonderful work of writing and creating. When we are doing what we’re meant to be doing, living in ways that are right for us, whatever comes up is part of what we need to either let go of or embrace as part of the journey. And in the in-between, and waiting times, we need to see the gifts of grace in those moments. And just as I wrote that, I received a message from my editor and friend saying that she was back to work on Chapter 66. We’re making plans and getting going on the summer’s work now. And I’m dreaming up other scenarios and trips to get background and research done for new settings. Life is a blast. With gratitude and joy, I now am ready to get back to work.
Oh the joy of loving the gifts God gives us. Even the ones that don’t always seem like gifts. Knowing as we do, that everything matters, there are no accidents, when we pray for something. When we really know what we want and aren’t afraid to ask for it, the greatest way, I believe, that we can use our power is to stand in the truth of what we want, and then get out of the way. Stop resisting change. Stop trying to hang on to the past, and let the newness unfold. It’s all good.
Catherine J. Meyers 